I've nearly jumped ship so many times!

I cannot believe it's already July and so far this year, my weight loss has not been crash hot, in fact it's been a bit of a disaster. I have lost and gained weight more times than I care to remember. In the past few months I have let my focus slide backwards and have caught myself eating the wrong things again. This was always going to happen at some stage. After reading a post that my beautiful friend wrote tonight about her struggle, it made me re-think why the hell I started this in the first place, what was the reason for doing it because lately I have lost my mojo!

So after reading her post three times, I sat down and wrote a reply and read what I wrote about my reason for losing weight and here is part of what I wrote:

"I want a better life, a healthier life more than anything in the world, I don't care about clothes or looks or money, I care about my life and my place in the world. When I am on my death bed the last thing I EVER want to be thinking is "I wish I had lost the weight, things could've been so different" that thought terrifies me!

After writing this it was like a huge church bell rang in my head and now I'm ready to continue. I am no longer going to put time limits on my goals I am just going to keep on keeping on. Yes I could've lost all my weight by now, but what is the point of dwelling on that except to make myself feel like a failure and go eat a cheesecake! I don't want that, I don't need that. As long as I give myself permission from time to time to have something that I really want BAD such as today, I had a burger, then I will never feel deprived.

I have lost 30kg, there is nothing to be upset about that, I am not a failure, I am slowly winning this, it's only now that I realise that I am doing a good job, I am changing my life, I can do this! All I need to do is make a few tweaks here and there to my diet because my workouts these days are quite strenuous so I cannot survive on rabbit food any more, I must refuel properly or else I will be diving for that cookie jar, which has been happening.

Exercise has been my saviour! I love it and do it every single day without fail! If I do not move my butt at least once a day, I will not sleep well and be the biggest grump on the planet in the morning!

So starting in the morning, a new revitalised and school assignment free Barbara will once again punch this weight loss in the ass!

Always remember your biggest motivator is yourself because you are the only one who can really make yourself do what you need to do and as your see changes taking place on your body and within yourself emotionally, you will gain so much drive you'll be unstoppable! 

Take charge of your life today, I am! :) xx